Hmmm... not being the best mama blogger.


What is new? I am officially six months pregnant. LOTS of kicking going on. It comes in waves, though. When she kicks, it's a lot. Then there will be hours of nothing at all. After work today, before Nick headed out to the bar with his buddies (hey, he's gotta get his kicks in now!) he asked me if she had been moving around today. I had to pause and think about it, and I realized I hadn't remember feeling anything. A couple pokes and prods later, there she was! So cool... :)


Also? I am officially out of breath doing anything. Roll over in the middle of the night? Heavy panting. Not the type of heavy panting that one typically thinks of when you say you were rolling around between the sheets. ;) Haha! Getting out of my car? Out of breath. Shoot, now I have to WALK INTO MY WORK BUILDING? I feel like I just ran a marathon. Now, naturally, I'm exaggerating a bit, but you catch my drift... phew.


Also new development: I'M GROWING. I've gone from little bit prego to WHOA BELLY. I have pics to prove it, it's not that I'm too shy to put them on here, it's that I lost my camera cord a few months ago and now it's an ordeal to upload pics. But I'll get some on here soon, promise. I've taken a few bare-belly shots too, so I can look back on them later and laugh at the thought that I thought I was big at this stage. My future self will get a kick out of it, after my future self has experienced the joy of being 9 months pregnant.


I kind of regret not doing a weekly belly shot (bare belly or not) - I've seen montages on other blogs and it's SO COOL. But honestly, I wasn't too geeked about being pregnant in the beginning. Not that I wasn't geeked to have a child, but I wasn't "into" being pregnant. I think I've written about this before... can't remember. Anyway, I'm kind of regretting that (both the not taking pictures part, and the not "being into it" part), but oh well, not going to dwell on it.


I'm just trying to make up for my lack of pregnancy-gaga-enthusiasm from the first few months and cram it into the last few months. What a thing it is to be pregnant for the first time. It's... magical, in a way I can't really describe.


Nick and I just had our two year engagement anniversary on Tuesday, 12/8. We celebrated by having a mini-date at home and it was quietly and simply one of the best nights of my life. We didn't whisper sweet nothings, nor did we feed each other chocolate covered strawberries, or even exchange love letters. But we sat together in our family room, on the small love seat, snuggled together watching "Love Actually", which was the movie that spurred our engagement. Our puppy was crammed on the love seat as well, if you can imagine that. I managed to snap a pic of all of us crammed on the couch... will post later!


Anyway, my reason for bringing it up is this: my engagement anniversary is so close to being just as good as my wedding anniversary, because I remember how happy I am to be married to Nick and how absolutely lucky I feel to be exactly where I am right now. I love our little family of three (me, Nick, Murphy). Being engaged was the best... you're this blushing bride and everyone is so excited for you and you've got this bride glow about you. Then your wedding day comes and it's a big party of everyone you know and everyone who loves you, celebrating you two. What a feeling. Honestly, I think I DO like my engagement anniversary even more than my wedding anniversary because it was just about the two of us. The start of it all. (Gosh I'm cheesy tonight :P)


So, how does this all tie back to being pregnant? Well, being a blushing bride was the best time... it is so EXCITING to plan your wedding and plan your life as a family of two. And I have that same excitement, except it's less selfish and more... OH MY GOD WE'VE CREATED ANOTHER HUMAN BEING! So this is much more reverent and humbling experience, even though I don't always show it and convey it properly. It's hard to wrap my brain around it sometime. Another thing I think is cool is that this time in our lives - we'll never experience it again. Being first-time parents. The future is SO UNKNOWN to us right now, and it's all "I wonder what..." after "I wonder what..." Having your 2nd or 3rd kid is still an amazing experience, I am sure, but you only have your first once, ya know?

And the other funny thing about pregnancy is... it goes so fast, and so slow all at the same time. But I am grateful that it has gone somewhat slow, because going from childless to parent is such a huge deal, it's beyond just being a wife, or a friend, or a sibling, or a child. It's like the #1 job you can have. Well, I say it probably shares the #1 job with being a wife. Eh, I am rambling at this point, so I'll sign off now... more posts to come later...

I have been a SLACKER on my baby blog. :(


At almost 6 months prego now, I regret not writing more about my experience. I have come to realize that in my life thus far (deeeep), the two biggest things that have happened to me is 1.) getting engaged/married and 2.) having a baby. Getting engaged and being a fiance was the best feeling in the world... I LOVED being a bride and getting married. How happy is a bride?!


Now that we're becoming parents, well it's a whole different ball-game. We're excited, in a whole new way. Now I can feel her kick. Last night, Nick laid his head on my stomach and could feel her kick - a real good kick! - at least 3 or 4 times. Honestly, we've fallen more in love with each other through the process. How great is that? And I think it's only the beginning!


We had a few couples over last weekend, including Jeff and Sandi's Miles & Mayse (3.5 yr old and 8 wks old). They're our only friends who have kids, really. And we honestly don't spend a whole lot of time around kids, so when we do, it's all "oh cute!" This time, though, with 2 kids around, it's was run-run-run with the wild man Miles, and "watch the dog!" with tiny baby Mayse. I thought Nick would be terrified about our very first "real live baby in our house" situation, but after everyone left, he hugged me and said "I can't wait for us to be parents."

Seriously, guys, pinch me... is this really happening?

11.10.09

I woke up this morning to Nick telling me "I dreamt I was holding our baby... now I know what she looks like!" Isn't that precious. I just wish I was more awake to properly respond. He is the type of person who, upon waking up, is 100% awake/alert/ready to chat. I, on the other hand, am still deep in sleep and can only conjur up a grunt in recognition that he is talking, and talking to me.

Anyway, today was BABY DAY. Nick is off for the week, and I was off for the day. After this 7:00 a.m. conversation (one-sided conversation), I fell back asleep until 9:00 a.m., because why not sleep in on your day off? For serious.

We met up with Jackie for lunch, then were off to IKEA for baby furniture. Yay! We walked away with a crib, a dresser, and about $250 of other (non-baby) crap. How did that happen? Don't ask... let's just say, if each shopper gets his or her own cart, then he or she will be more inclined to, say, fill that cart. Is all I'm saying.

Then, on the way home from IKEA, I spotted a store called Buy Buy Baby. Never heard of it before, it was kind of like a Bed Bath & Beyond except all baby-related, obvs. Anyway, Nick pulls into the parking lot, and I turned my head to see the "Expecting Mothers" parking spot, and even though it was only two spaces closer than our spot, I actually made Nick pull out of the spot and back up in the parking lot and park in the "Expecting Mothers" spot. And thus snapped a pic to commemorate. Wahoo!

Upon studying the picture immediately after it was snapped (we all do it, don't front!), I commented "Wow, my face is getting chubby, cool!" to which Nick grabbed the phone, glanced at it, and said "This is how you always look." Errrrrr. KTHXBY.

Oh! And we also stopped at Lowe's and picked up some mini paint samples (love those) and painted some swatches in the baby room. I think we're going for a purpley mauvey color. With white furniture (my wish list), Nick's input was that the walls should be a darker color. I really lobbied for white furniture (as opposed to the really dark stuff Nick liked) so it was a compromise I was willing to make. I think it'll turn out nicely. I also fancy this light fixture:

What do you think of it? Can you picture it in a baby room? I think it's cute... and girly :)

Okay, well this mama best get herself to sleep. Work in the morning. It was a really nice day off (my last vacation day of the year... save for a 1/2 day I'm using later this week to help paint the baby room!) and I loved spending it with my mister. Now off to dreamland so I can meet our baby like Nick did last night. :)

P.S. Nick says she has dark hair. Hmm...

I Did It!

So guys... BIG DAY for me. Honestly, huge day for me.

I got a shot, and not only did I not faint, not throw up, I didn't even really flinch or have an episode or anything! I truly consider this a miracle of miracles, I haven't had a shot in about 12 years. I have never had a flu shot, not because I'm anti flu shot, but because of my needle phobia.

And I was going back and forth over the H1N1... did I want to be a guinea pig? Was it really safe? Yadda yadda. I talked with people (or spouses of the people... to get their spouse's opinion) I know who work in the health care field (RN (x2), NP, PA) and 3 out of 4 of them were going to get it. And I tried to read info from the web on the subject. Do you know if you read something on the web, it is true? :P

So the only articles and sites I read that indicated any skepticism were from people like me. Non-doctors. Which, I know doctors aren't Gods. Far from it. But I never read a truly convincing piece from a medical professional that said "DON'T GET IT". So I got it. And I survived it. Go me.

Few Things

I had my first contraction this weekend. We were staying at my parent's house, and sleeping in a divine bed (any bed that is not my bed is divine... even a couch... HATE would be the word that comes to mind when I think about my bed... but I digress... and use even more ellipses...) and I woke up in the middle of the night. Now, normally I wouldn't share this kind of detail... and to tell you the truth, I'm still just half-committed to telling you this detail as I continue to write these sentences. Okay, okay, I give in. I was having a dream... not a terribly risque dream, per se, but in this dream... I was doing things that create babies. OMG there I said it. I honest-to-God have never had a dream where I was having sex. It was a first. So I woke up, and put my hand on my stomach instinctively, and it was as hard as a rock. I was like "huh... this is probably a contraction" and went back to bed. You know, I had to get back to that dream! J/K!! I didn't really do anything, I didn't get up out of bed or anything, just felt the really tight tummy, had that one fleeting thought about it being a contraction, then went back to bed. I told my doctor about it today (leaving out the dream part... I mean, it's not like we're BFFs...) and she confirmed "Yup! That was a contraction!" WEIRD.

I also probed my doctor a bit about a 'typical' birth at U of M. I started reading this book (Your Best Birth) and while yes, I realize it is a fairly biased book, but I wanted to get some feedback on what a normal birth is like at the hospital I plan on delivering at. I am glad to hear that Pitocin is not an automatic/given, that my doctor has only done three episiotomies in her 20 years practicing, and I only have to be hooked up to monitors for 20 minutes every two hours. I was pretty stoked to hear I can have a pretty natural childbirth if that's what I choose to do. I don't have any illusions of knowing how it will go, how I will tolerate childbirth, whether I will want an epidural, whether there will be other complications that will necessitate a C-Section, but it's nice to know that if everything is progressing normally, then I can decide how I want things to go, for the most part. They have a couple of rooms with tubs in them, too, so a water birth is an option. I think the other big hospital in town has many more rooms with tubs.

Anyway, the last bit o'news at my doctor appt today is that they are not only out of H1N1 but out of the regular flu shot as well! So... even though I went in with a brave face (I haven't had a shot in, like, 15 years and was nervous as hell - I don't want to faint in front of Nick or my doctor), I left with all of my skin intact. I am expecting a call though when they get more in... and I guess I should start stalking other places that will be getting it.

That's it for now loves...

I Need To Post More Frequently

What's new? Hmmm. Roxanne tells me I need a new post, so here is a new post.

• Stretch marks on my belly. Boo. Yes, I use creams and lotions and vitamin gels. Not working. :(


• Maybe a baby moving around in me? Kinda cool! Except I am not really sure if it's a baby or a fart about to be born.


• Ultrasound in a few days - I'll get to see if we have boy-parts in me or girl-parts in me. Either way, isn't it weird to think I am growing a pee-pee or a vee-vee in me right now?


• When I am actually a parent, will I be one of those annoying ones who says "pee-pee" or "vee-vee"? I hope I just call a penis a penis. I think I will.


• H1N1. To get or not to get? I know it's just a flu shot (and I always want to spell flu "flue" when I'm typing it... every time, without fail) but I just hate that it's like seriously JUST released, like a week ago. Do I really want to be a lab rat for it? Still on the fence... I've talked to some people in the medical profession who are also divided on the issue. (NP, pregnant, getting it; RN, not pregnant, not getting it.)


• Today I got to see where nursing mom's pump their breast milk during work hours. It's literally a locker-room bench in the ladies bathroom, around the corner from the stalls, where there is a 1-stall shower in the bathroom. Why is there a shower at work? Anyway, this bench area is SOOOO NOT GLAMOROUS. They just put a lock on the door to this small area a month ago, THANK GOD. The whole area reminds me of a camp-ground bathroom... kind of mangy and has that damp shower smell. So gross.
• That's all for now folks! More later...

Maaaaaan!

After, like, a month of no puking, I up-chucked my breakfast at work today.

Not cool, belly, not cool.

In other news, today Nick came home from work and said "Honey! You look pregnant!" THANKSSSSSS. :P

I am O.K. with looking pregnant... I just want better clothes. I can't keep wearing my current pants not buttoned up. It's just -- not working out.

Hmmm... other news - ultrasound in a few weeks! I will post pics for sure. :)

A Quick Note on Food

I met with a nurse yesterday to get a ton of information on pregnancy. She advised me to stop eating food with artificial sweeteners. To me, this mostly means no more diet soda and no more "light" foods, such as yogurt, pudding, etc.

Oh! And she also told me to use real butter instead of the fake substitute, and olive oil, too. Olive oil is not anything new to me, but real butter!? Non-light yogurt!? These things taste so much better than the fakes, I am not having a problem whatsoever taking to this change.

I am not really embracing non-diet soda, I am just removing diet soda completely (caffeine free and caffeinated alike) and drinking other things. I really like Faygo naturally-flavored soda water (grapefruit flavored is my favorite) and of course lots and lots of water!

Five Things I Wasn’t Prepared For

1. Sense of Smell Overload!
Warning: any and all food that doesn’t sound appealing to eat at this very moment is going to smell dirty and rotten to my newly pregnant nose. This wasn’t the case in the past… if I wasn’t hungry, the smell of a hot dog didn’t make me want to hurl… I probably didn’t even register a thought about it!
Now, especially at work where the smells are much less under my control, when a nearby coworker decides to heat up last night’s feast (feast used very loosely here) – the smell literally sends my stomach into somersaults.
Also offending my nasal passages – gas (the dog, the husband, my own) – feet – morning breath – the smell of dog in the house (not him personally, just the general “our house smells like dog” issue) – not freshly washed bodies – dirty clothes. All of these really and truly give my tummy aches. NOT FUN!
2. My Work Badge
Weird one here. I wear my work badge around my neck on a basic landyard thing. Nothing fancy. But when I walk, it swings against my body with every other step. I never ever noticed this in the past, I swear. But now, the tap-tap-tap on my stomach is really uncomfortable, and kind of makes me nauseous. I know that sounds ridiculous, but it’s true! Now I have to hold my badge with one hand (with it still around my neck) when I am walking, or take it off altogether. But I kind of prefer to hold the badge (I promise, it doesn’t look too weird) as it gives me an excuse to put my hand up and somewhat obstruct my growing belly.
3. My Growing Belly
Now duh, I wasn’t thinking that this WASN’T going to happen… I guess I am just surprised that it happened so fast. And, I’ll be the first to admit that I wasn’t exactly sporting Heidi Klum type abs to begin with… my midsection has probably always been my most chubby area, so any additional weight to that area quickly made all of my pants obsolete. I had to resort to my loosest fitting pants just about every day, in order to avoid Muffin Top Galore at work…
4. The Gas
And really, I’m only talking about the grotesque type (exiting the body in a not-so-pleasant area) that was an issue for the first couple of weeks… I would let them rip like no other, when in the comfort of my own home, and within earshot of Nick. He got a kick out of it! I’m pretty sure I scared the dog a couple of times, too. I also had crazy gas in my upper stomach – I’m guessing the small intestine area? I have no idea. But in that area right underneath my breasts, by my ribcage, I was so bloated! You could tap the skin, and hear the hollowness echo back at you. It was bizarre.
5. The Morning Sickness
Again, no, I'm not stupid. I know that women get this... it's just that... I didn't have it for 2-2.5 weeks after I found out I was pregnant. I naively believed that if I didn't have it right away, I would never have it. I walked around smugly, saying to myself "those other women are babies, making up this morning sickness crap". Oh, silly silly Lindsay. Morning sickness hit me like a Mack Truck, just out of the blue one day, and hasn't really eased up yet.
Now, mine is of the "most of the day" variety, and is actually pretty mellow, if you don't count the actual throwing up incidents. I just generally feel nauseous, and the best word I can describe is "delicate". I feel as though if I were to do five jumping jacks, that I would display my lunch in a churned up manner all over the floor. Let's just leave it at that. I have no energy to work out, no appetite to eat healthy food, and no desire to do anything but lay on the couch when I get home from work. This has proved to be not so great in terms of keeping healthy, fit, and active in my first trimester, but I consider survival a feat in itself at this point.

Yakking at Work: A Pregnant Woman's Guide

You made the mistake of drinking (calcium-fortified) O.J. in the morning on a semi-empty stomach. Dry Kix cereal constitutes breakfast, right?

Anyway, O.J., meet Stomach. Gulp gulp gulp. Stomach, give O.J. a dirty look. Stomach is pretty sure that O.J. hit on his girlfriend, or stole his bike, or is a dirty scoundrel (general vibe). Stomach is not happy, and will do everything in his power to kick O.J.'s ass back to where he came from.

Incubator (that's me) to Stomach: "Give him a chance! Don't judge a book by its cover! Can't you just forgive and forget? Don't you remember that girl dumped you anyway, O.J. or no O.J.?"

Stomach, to Incubator: "Shut up you good-for-nothing woman. All you feed me is Cheese-Its and Kix. I want some meat! Potatoes! Diet Coke! I hate you!"

So, you know where this is going... you're now stuck at work, with that familiar feeling in your stomach. That feeling of dread that you'll have to, once again, kneel on the bathroom floor at work, yakking in the community bathroom.

Of course... you have a meeting in fifteen minutes. That you are leading. That you cannot be late for, because your bosses will be in attendance as well. Bosses who don't yet know of your Incubator-status.

Here are some guidelines for other poor unfortunate souls in a similar predicament as mine:
Water speeds up the process. As soon as I know I'm going to yak, when it's the point of no return, but still many minutes (dozens of minutes?) away from the actual act, I head to the bathroom with a bottle of water. If I can chug even a 1/4 of the bottle, I'm bound to make it all come up within the next 1-5 minutes.
Toilet seat liners make excellent bibs. I'm talking backsplash here. NOTHING WORSE than backsplash when you are at work. Backsplash at home is just annoying and inconvenient. But backsplash at work means you walk around smelling like puke, and/or having weird stains on your shirt. Take a toilet seat liner, and make a bib out of it, tucking it into the top of your shirt.
Toilet seat liners can serve multiple purposes. For instance, you don't want to kneel on the floor that dozens of women are in and out of all day, with their nether regions exposed and possible things ending up on the floor? I need not go into more details, right? Take a few toilet seat liners and put them on the floor where you're going to kneel. If you take off your shoes, you'll be even more comfy, as the tops of your feet can lay against the ground, and you can rest your bum on your feet if you need to.
Hair ties make excellent bracelets. Make sure you always have one around your wrist, so you can tie up your hair. Having to hold your hair with a hand or two is most inconvenient.
That bottle of water? That helped get things going? Will be your savior post-yak. You can leave the bathroom somewhat dignified without having to rinse your mouth with the lukewarm water of the sink, in front of everyone.
That's it folks... my tips thus far in my yakking-at-work journey. I can only hope to experience it but a few more times... and I wish the same for you.

P.S. It may require an extra trip back to the bathroom, but don't forget to keep a toothbrush and toothpaste at work! If you don't have cubbies or lockers in the bathroom, at least keep a travel-sized set at your desk or in your purse. This is a must! Gum will do you a disservice, I promise.

First Post - The Noble Baby

[Written May-ish, June-ish, I guess? Saved as an email draft until this blog was created.]

I haven't really taken any time to process what's going on. I kind of like that and appreciate that, though, because I've finally started to learn that when I live inside my head, that's when I start to go nuts.

Anyway, we're unofficially TTC. That is an acronym that is found on many parenting blogs and the like. I'm not even going to spell it out here, you'll have to do the leg-work yourself if you don't know what it means. :) I cringe to even spell out what that stands for, considering it's unofficial. I'm not sticking thermometers where the sun don't shine, scheduling nookie, obsessing, or any of that. More like, going with the flow, seeing what happens, letting whatever do its thing (fate? kismet? butterfly in China?). If we do it, we do it. If we don't, we don't. Not forcing anything whatsoever. (Cringe! I don't talk about sex on my blog!)

The thing is, despite however lase fa ire I am about it, every time I get a twinge in my stomach, or a mild cramp, I'm certain it's cells reproducing rapidly and trying to implant. And I can't help but think "okay, waiting time". Wait to see if I see red. Or instead, if I feel nauseous. (As if it would come that fast.) Should I have that beer with dinner, or hold off? Do I buy tests from the store if they're Buy One Get One Free? If the first test is "no", should I believe it, or try again the next day? Wait until Nick is home from work, or do it myself?

It's a huge freaking deal. Right? I mean, it's completely and utterly life-changing, in a way I can't yet comprehend. But I've heard enough people say so, so it's got to be true.

[Post picked up again on 7/10/09, five days after I learn I am pregnant.]

We took a test on Friday morning. I predicted that I was about 3-4 days from my period, so maybe the test will tell us something. "Up to 5 days before your missed period", the packaging claims. I pee, see nothing, really. Maybe a piece of dust or something, the tiniest of tiny hint of a shadow wanting to be a shadow. But really, it's negative and we don't even think anything of it. Surprisingly, I'm not disappointed, but Nick hugs me anyway.

Took another one on Saturday morning. Wait a minute... that may be the faintest of lines. Barely anything. Like, 2% shaded line. Eh, discard.

Sunday, just enjoy the day. Don't think about babies, cells, pregnancy. I'll probably get my period early next week. (Yay, cramps at work!)

Monday, after work. I pee on the stick, place the cap back on it, and hand it to Nick. I join him by the sink, washing my hands. I don't even look at the test. "I see a line!" Nick says, almost like Seinfeld would. "No you don't" I retort back. Except, he wasn't joking. There is a line. About 30% shaded line, but a line. We re-read the instructions (how hard can it be?) and see a graphical interpretation from the manufacturer. Basically, they say "if it looks like it could be a line, it's a line." They say "if you think you see a line, it's a line." They say "you are pregnant, Lindsay, that is definitely a line".

Holy fucking shit. I'm knocked up!

The next thirty minutes are bizarre to me. I'm happy and excited, scared shitless, already feeling anxious (I have to squeeze WHAT out of WHERE?), and completely stuptefied. What do we do now? I feel like there's some sort of paperwork I'm supposed to fill out or something. Do I have to alert the government? Big Brother? Make an appointment with a doctor for the next day? I realize I'm jumping the gun, but what the hell do I do now?